Vukodlok's Profile Feed
- Wednesday, September 1
- Igotapair102974 posted on Vukodlok's talkboard
Personal Info
Favourite movies:
memento, equilibrium, falling down, clue, ghost busters, back to the future, indiana jones (all but the new god awful one), harry potter, lord of the rings, american psycho, fight club, spider-man, matrix, dirty rotten scoundrals, batman, redneck zombies,
Favourite TV shows:
simpsons, futurama, trigun, america's got talent, biggest loser, monk, most food network shows, community,
Favourite books:
dark tower series, the three musketeers
Favourite quotes:
"Sir, if you were my husband I would put poison in your tea.""Madam, if I were your husband I would drink it."
Favourite music:
dimmu borgir, johnny cash, metallica, verdi, liszt, godsmack, disturbed, ozzie, black sabbath, good charlotte, green day, willy nelson, dolly pardon, charlie daniels, rob zombie, white zombie, bad religion, they might be giants, tom waites, jack off jill,
About me:
Shameless plug: My wife runs an online business making hair bows and cloth diapers. Message me if you are interested, I'll send you the website.
Poker Info
General Poker Info
Playing for:
7 year(s)
Favourite hand:
88
Favourite pro:
none
Favourite book:
anything by Mike Caro
Big online cash win:
$600
Big online tourny win:
crew cup Canada trip
Big live cash win:
$50
Big live tourny win:
$0
Poker Tournaments Info
Where:
Online, Casinos and Poker Rooms, Bar/Pub
Games:
NL Holdem, Hi/Lo Omaha, Stud Hi, Stud Hi/Lo, HORSE, Tripple Draw, 5 Card Draw
Types:
MTTs (multi-table), STTs/SNGs (single table), Deep Stacked, Satellites
Buy-ins:
Under $10
Casino/Gaming Info
Where:
Online, Other
I also enjoy:
Lotteries, Scratch Tickets, Chess
Comments
(596)
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Igotapair102974 (Pair of sevens) wrote yesterday at 1:54 am:Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I have been with a loose girl'.
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'."Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later
so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?
'I cannot say.'
'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are sealed.'
'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration.
'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that.
But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.
Now you go and behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew,
and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,
'What'd you get?'
'Four months vacation and five good leads.'
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Igotapair102974 (Pair of sevens) wrote 7 days ago at 12:07 am:A young man is walking down by the docks one day and decides to stop by a bar and have a beer. He walks into a bar, everyone's having a good time except an old man, sitting by the bar, crying into his beer. Curious, the young man sits down and says, "Hey old man, why the long face?"
The old man looks at him and points out the window, "See that dock out there? I built that dock with my own two hands, plank by plank, nail by nail, but do they call me Simon the dockbuilder? No."
The old man continued, "And see this bar in here? I took this bar over 20 years ago, and built it up, from a run down hole into a valuable resource for dockworkers and seamen from around the world. But do they call me Simon the bartender? No"
The old man starts to cry again, "But you fuck one goat ..."
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SStrength (Pair of kings) wrote Wednesday, August 25 at 4:02 pm:
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Igotapair102974 (Pair of sevens) wrote Saturday, August 21 at 2:16 pm:Four guys were at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
The first guy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. The other two said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
The next night it was the second guy's turn. In the morning, Same thing happens again, his hair is standing up, eyes all bloodshot.
The other two said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!"
He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I sat up and watched him all night."
The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning," he said. The other two couldn't believe it!
He looked rested and wide awake. They asked, "Man, what happened?"
He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed, patted his butt and kissed him good night. Daryl sat up and watched me all night."
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Igotapair102974 (Pair of sevens) wrote Friday, August 20 at 12:32 am:Once, there was a middle-aged man named Herman who decided to try a different golf course than his usual.
On the second hole he met up with another man, named Elmer, so they decided to golf together.
As they were teeing off on the 6th hole, a gorgeous naked woman runs past, followed by two men in white coats.
Herman looks in awe at the woman, and a few seconds later another man in a white coat runs by holding two buckets of sand.
Herman then asks Elmer, "What the hell was that?" to which Elmer replies, "There is a mental institution down the street and every day, that woman tries to escape. The men in the white coats are the ones trying to catch her. The person who catches her gets to carry her back."
Herman thought for a moment then said, "OK, but who was the man holding the sand buckets?"
Elmer answered, "He caught her yesterday, the sand is his handicap."
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Igotapair102974 (Pair of sevens) wrote Thursday, August 19 at 12:28 am:A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it.""When did you use this awful language?" asks the Mother superior"Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 280 yards, but it struck a phone line that is hanging over the fairway and fell straight to the ground after going only about 100 yards.""Is that when you swore?""No, Mother," says the nun. "After that a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away.""Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Mother superior again."Well, no." says the nun. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!""IS THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed Mother Superior."No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball.""Did you swear THEN?" asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient."No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green and stopped about six inches from the hole."
The two nuns were silent for a moment.
Then the Mother Superior sighed and said,
"You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?"
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BuzzDryver (Pair of twos) wrote Saturday, August 14 at 10:05 am:Good morning! The OFC at Doyles room is on today at 3:00PM EDT. You can follow the comments at:
http://www.pokerspace.com/community/blogs/buzzdryver/ofc-137-138-doyles-league-2-aug-14-15/
If your name is not on our players list and you would like to have it added, please PM me asap and I will get it on there!
If you don't have a Doyles Account and wish to watch along the rails, you can download from the loyalty links, open an account and watch!!!
Gl all, have a great day!
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BuzzDryver (Pair of twos) wrote Thursday, August 12 at 5:43 pm:
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Igotapair102974 (Pair of sevens) wrote Monday, August 9 at 1:39 am:A farmer was having trouble getting his horses to breed. He had tried everything and was at his wits end. Finally one day he called the local Vet. The Vet told him to rub the male nose into the female horse...He would get the scent of her and breed. Sure enough the farmer rubbed the male horse's nose into the female and he hopped right on. That evening the farmer was thinking about his own trouble in the sex department. So that night after him and his wife were laying in bed, he reached down underneath the covers and rubbed on his wife and then rubbed his nose. To his amazement he got his first hard-on in years. He yelled out to his wife..."honey look!!! look!!!" His wife turned on the light disgusted and said "You woke me up to tell me you had a bloody nose?"
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slingshot (VIP) wrote Sunday, August 8 at 2:34 pm:
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